I guess in order to get my "followers" back I better start actually posting on a regular basis, eh? I guess my problem is that I only blog when I have a strong, passionate, and fiery opinion about something... maybe that's how I lose followers, too? It's possible.
Anyway -- a few things today.
First order of business:
A friend of mine came over to visit yesterday and gave me this book. My initial reaction? I laughed.
I'm not a commitaphobe!
And then I read the first page.
And then realized someone else other than Taylor Swift has been following me around and writing about my life.
For instance:
Page 1: "Let's face it - many women can't even commit to a lunch date, let alone a lifelong relationship."
Confession: I'm the queen of flaking out on lunch dates.
Page 2: "But take Susan, for example. At 33, she's a successful event planner who has dated numerous men, broken many hearts (including that of an ex-fiance), and had her fair share of heartbreak. Much as she wants to meet "the one," tie the knot, and have children, she continually finds herself going from one short-lived relationship to the next. Like clockwork, after three months of dating a man, she manages to find something wrong with him."
Confession: After reading this, I felt like throwing my hands up and saying, "FINE! I'm a
commitaphobe!"
Page 3: "Top Signs You're Commitment-Phobic" (I'll just name a few...)
- You have the habit of dating [or, crushing on/wanting really bad] unavailable men
- You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate
- You go from one short-lived relationship [or fling] to the next
- You back out of plans last minute and/or have trouble setting a time for dates
- You cultivate larger networks of friends and acquaintances at the expense of single romantic relationships
- You have a lot of relationship trauma in your past
- You date more than one man at a time to prevent becoming dependent
- You have a difficult time getting over past boyfriends
- You prefer hook-ups and friends with "benefits" scenarios to relationships [aka, NCMO's]
Confession: I really don't wanna talk about it.
Page 11: "I mean, how funny is it to want something, drive yourself crazy fantasizing about it every day, and then when you finally get it, drop it like last year's Ugg boots?"
Confession: (Aside from the fact I can proudly say that I never had those horrific Ugg boots that every girl in Arizona wore with her jean mini-skirt during mid-March in the 9th grade) -- I can empathize.
Page 15: "I think that women's commitment-phobia stems from not wanting to settle for something right now, especially since something better might come along."
Confession: The "Better-than Syndrome" of Provo, Utah... #guilty When there are so many options, who wants to settle? Even if that just means settling down?
Which leads me to my next point...
Page 16: "With so many dizzying options to pick from, today's women are far more prone to catching the commitment-phobia bug than ever before. Think about it. It's all to easy to decide on a coat of paint for your bedroom when you only have a choice of two colors. But when presented with a rainbow of equally pleasing options (caramel late, polo blue, acorn yellow), the whole matter can become far more confusing than it needs to be."
Confession: Too many choices to make a decision. Do you realize how many matches I have on Tinder? (Stop judging me, I know you're just as guilty.)
Page 19: "Whether it was watching our parents quarrel, toil away in unfulfilling relationships, or suffer the hardships that accompany a single-parent lifestyle, we swore that would never be us; we vowed to never end up in a similar situation. Now that we're older and, we hope, a bit wiser, many of us still haven't gotten over the past."
Confession: Sure divorce scares me. As it scares any kid with divorced parents. (But, I will say -- it's the least worrisome of my commitment issues.)
Page 37: "Denial: I couldn't possibly have commitment-phobia. I'm totally open to the prospect of meeting someone. Nope, that's not me. I'm always on the lookout for a new relationship. It just never works out. It's really the men's fault. I just can't seem to find anyone to settle down with, except that one guy, hmmm... No, he was really just a little too nice. I don't think it would have worked out."
Confession: My life! HA!
Page 43: "Commitment-Minded Connie: Can anyone say commitment-obsessed? You would rather die than end up alone, and you spend all your waking hours fantasizing about meeting the perfect guy. Not to begrudge you some frivolous fun planning a mock-wedding or lightning your "love spell" candles, but consider that just because you think you want a commitment, that doesn't mean you're necessarily ready for one. In fact, all that compulsive thinking about commitment may actually be a way to sabotage real relationships from forming and developing naturally. We often avoid dealing with our personal issues about love by escaping into a fantasy world where everything just happens magically. So while you may be enamored with the concept of a commitment, your gripping desire for it shows you may not be prepared to do the heavy lifting that relationships require."
Confession: The results of my quiz...
Page 54: "Fear of Rejection: Oftentimes our fear of commitment has to do with an immense fear of being abandoned, rejected and cast aside. Many of you have probably gone through painful experiences in which you opened up to someone only to be rejected. It's easy to react to this pain by shutting down emotionally, preemptively breaking off relationships, or avoiding dating altogether."
Confession: In the words of Taylor Swift, love is a ruthless game, unless you play it good and right. In the words of Pat Benatar, love is a battlefield. In simpler words: who wouldn't want to protect themselves from heartache? #wallsup
Page 60: "Is it commitment-phobia, or is it just that I haven't met the right person? Many of you are convinced that the reason why you're single is that you just haven't met the right guy. You believe that your married or committed friends just drew a better number in the love lottery and that once you meet the right person all your commitment issues will simply vanish into thin air. It's fair to say that some of you just can't wrap your mind around the fact that you haven commitment issues. In fact, "I haven't met the right person" is the most common rationalization women use to avoid dealing with their anxiety. But meeting someone who's right for you is not just about luck and good timing. It's about being emotionally and psychologically ready to make a lasting connection. There may have been plenty of guys you've met who could have been contenders, but you were probably not in the right head space to recognize them. In the end, commitment issues won't just go away when you meet the man you've been dreaming of. In fact, meeting the right person may just make them even worse."
Confession: Again, MY LIFE.
Okay, last one for today.
Page 69: I'm not picky, I'm just..." I know, I know. You're not nit-picky, you're just selective. You're not picky, you just know what you like. Repeat after me, you're not picky, you're just...
- "I just have high standards."
- "I just haven't met the right guy."
- "I just get turned off easily."
For instance:
You: "So what's your relationship with your mother like?"
Him: "I love my mother. She's one of the greatest women I know.
Nitpicker Verdict: Mama's boy.
You: "So are you career-driven?"
Him: "Yes, I'm passionate about my work as a lifestyle counselor. I teach people how to balance their work and personal lives."
Nitpicker Verdict: Obsessive workaholic.
You: "So when was your last relationship?"
Him: "I was dating a wonderful woman for three years, but we grew apart."
Nitpicker Verdict: Still in love with his ex.
You: "So what do you do for fun?"
Him: "Um, let's see. I love doing crosswords, hanging out at the coffee shop with friends, going to movies - that kind of thing."
Nitpicker Verdict: Slacker couch potato.
You: "So what do you do for fun?" (Example #2)
Him: "I really love the outdoors. Hiking, canoeing, camping - that kind of thing"
Nitpicker Verdict: He's totally judging me for not being outdoorsy.
Confession: I feel like this girl just described every thought I've ever had on a first date.
Disclaimer: I don't have one. I'm speechless.
Well, that was a lot for one blog post. But I must share one more thing!
I saw a recipe on Pinterest once for frozen banana milkshakes. Well, today I decided to try it, but I didn't remember the exact recipe other than the fact it had frozen bananas, hot chocolate powder, and some milk. Oh, and I decided to add some peanut butter for good measure -- and OH. MY. WORD.
Try it. Just try it.
In a blender:
-1 frozen banana
-A tiny bit of milk (just so the banana will actually cream-up a bit)
-1 spoonful of cocoa powder (already sweetened like Nesquick or Stephen's Hot Chocolate)
-1 TBSP of peanut butter
Blend.
DEVOUR.
Creamiest, thickest shake of my LIFE.
