So I sat in class today...and thoughts just started coming to me. So, naturally I wrote them down... just in a reflective sort of way. And I just had to post them. I'm fine, I promise. I was just thinking.
Sometimes I sit here and wonder how I'm living without him. I sit and wonder how in the world I ever let go of someone I loved so much. When I was with him, I didn't care about impressing anyone else or even being with anyone else. Other guys were good looking and spiritual and even made me laugh, but no one else was quite like him. I loved him...so much. Although I know why I let him go, I am still in disbelief that I ever did. I think that is why I'm so satisfied with being single...because I haven't found anyone quite like him. And right now I honestly feel like I never will. Maybe someone better for me, sure. But no one like him.
I almost f eel like I pretend to be happy now because, in all honesty, I was the happiest when I was with him. Sure, we had our struggles. But somehow all of my worries in the world would just vanish when we were together. His presence brought me hope and, most of all, comfort and strength. We talked, we laughed, and just held each other. I don't know how he ever moved on after I let him go... especially so quickly... because I can't even bring myself to like another guy the way I liked, and in the end, loved him. How can you give someone your whole heart when so much of it has been given and still is with someone else?
Although I feel stronger now than I ever was before, I still feel like I lost something... A part of me will always be with him -- and he is also what I lost. He is something I'll never get back.
No comments:
Post a Comment