"At the beginning of this life-altering trial of letting go of someone I loved more deeply than I thought I could ever love anyone else, I can honestly say that I had no hope for the future. Needless to say, I was confused, heartbroken, with a loss of direction and not knowing where my life was headed. Watching others' happiness and plans work out, all I could see were my plans shattered and broken
to pieces. As time passed, I was promised through Priesthood blessings and direction that, although the road was rough, I would be blessed for my decision to change my course of action. However, I was also promised that I would not be blessed until I fully let go of the bitterness, anger and, essentially, him. This took the faith that I didn't even know I had as I waded through stormy nights of confusion and heartache. But now... those stormy nights, although still exist, are fewer and farther in between. The love and support of friends, family, my loving Savior and my God have strengthened me and, at times, carried me to this point of renewed strength and perspective of the future. Doors have finally opened and the blessings are ever flowing in. I have options of a mission, a new school and new opportunities, and the greatest part is that I can do them ALL! I know God lives, loves us and is indeed aware of us. For the blessings simply do not come until after the trial of our faith. Thank you for all of your love and support -- each and every one of you who have prayed for me and strengthened me. I couldn't have done it without you."
Well, I mean it with every fiber of my being.
On Wednesday I got accepted into BYU-Provo, and let me just tell you... I screamed so loud that my mom thought a murderer was in the house. I was so excited and in utter and complete SHOCK! For one, BYU rarely accepts anyone with over 90 credit hours. I have 100. BYU also rarely accepts anyone with less than a 3.7 GPA. I have a 3.4. Upon applying to BYU, I knew that if I was going to get in, it would be a miracle... and that it would have to be "meant to be."
And here I am... accepted to BYU-Provo. It must be meant to be.
I called my dad, and by the tone of his voice, all I heard was... "Oh great, another OPTION. This girl is NEVER gonna make up her mind!" Nonetheless, he was still happy for me.
Well, prior to getting my acceptance letter, I had planned a trip up to Provo this weekend anyway (kinda like how I finished my mission papers before the announcement during conference?) -- and being here has been very helpful. I feel strongly that it's where I'm supposed to be, but just not now. I feel like I still need to serve a mission and I AM! Getting my acceptance letter to BYU really inspired me to go (as weird and non-related as that is). Now that my papers are done and I'm accepted to BYU... I just wanna do it ALL! And I get to! After letting me into this new school, I think I owe the Lord a few months of my life. I have been so blessed lately... the least I could do is take this once in a lifetime opportunity and serve the Lord for a few months. Plus, I recently heard from a fellow prospectives sister missionary that the chances for school and marriage will always be there waiting... a mission won't! SO TRUE.
So while being in Provo, I have come to the following conclusions:
- Traffic here is HORRENDOUS. So congested -- I hate it.
- The leaves here... oh my heavens. It's actually FALL! It's gorgeous. I love it.
- There are lots of boys here. And there will be even more when all the freshman girls go on their missions. I love it.
- The Mormon world is so small. I made three connections yesterday and one the day before.
- I am staying with my previous roommate's cousin who is roommates with a girl she knows from Indiana -- the girl from Indiana lived in Arizona up until 6th grade and lived about 7 minutes away from me when we were both little. WEIRD.
- My friend's other roommate (super cute girl, also going on a mission) worked with Paul, who I dated Spring 2011, at Tucanos here in Provo. WEIRD.
- The girl who worked at the sister-missionary mall that I met yesterday lived in Glendale this summer to nanny for her nephews -- smallllll world and WEIRD.
- I met a girl who worked at the car rental place in SLC on Thursday. She was from Sugar City, Idaho and knows of a few people that I go to school with at BYU-I. WEIRD.
Anyway. I love it here. But I'm going on a mission. I will officially and FINALLY turn in my papers next week. I promise.
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