Called to serve.

AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SO ECSTATIC THAT I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF!!!

Okay but for REAL. This whole new age change hasn't affected me nor my circumstances that much -- but it sure has gotten me giddy as the 19 year old girls starting their papers!

TRUTH BE TOLD: I started and finished my papers within the last two weeks. I was planning on keeping it a big fat SECRET but... this morning got me just too excited! So, those "plans" I've been talking about were definitely the mission. I started them before it was cool ;) BAHAHA!

But I'm SO excited for all of those sisters who have decided to also start their papers and serve a mission. I [personally] think it will become more of a "normal" thing to do for sisters -- the reluctancy of going due to the potentiality of marriage between the age of 18-21 is no longer an issue! WHOO HOO!!! Congrats to all those who decided to go as of today!

I have been anticipating this particular blog post for quite sometime. I just want to share with the world why I have chosen to go and what experiences brought me to this point.

Obviously, going on a mission was not the plan 6 months ago. And 9 months ago? Yes, yes it was. What about 12 months ago? No, no it wasn't. (As evidence shows, I've obviously been indecisive since birth.)

Before I even CONSIDERED serving a mission, I never wanted to go. However, I met Katelyn Freeman King, previously Sister Freeman, when she served in my ward when I was 19 years old during my first off-track semester from BYU-Idaho.

I went on a lesson with her and another sister missionary just for kicks one day, and the Spirit hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying and shaking more than any other [tearless] person in the room. The Spirit I felt as I testified of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon to an investigator was one of the most moving experiences I've ever had in my life.

I immediately called my mom afterward and told her that I was so unsure... I had never felt that I should go on a mission before, so why now? At that point, I didn't necessarily feel that I should serve a mission, but the inkling... the little desire did come -- whereas, before it was NEVER there. My mom assured me, "Kendra... you have two whole years before you have to make that decision! Don't stress about it!"

Oh, I was stressing. I wanted to get married! But then I wanted to serve a mission! What was I to do?!

Well, I went on the next couple years to get my education and date... like crazy.

On December 31, 2011, I met Tyler. The very next day (YES, Jan. 1) I was sitting in a fireside unrelated to missionary work. The girl next to me was preparing to leave for Bolivia to serve a mission. I asked her, "What prompted you to serve?" And she replied...

"You know, it's just a move I had to make. I realized that the Lord wasn't going to tell me to go, nor was He going to tell me not to go. So, I put my papers in and just did it."

I left that fireside and just bawled to my roommate, Stephanie. I decided to call my family and tell them the news. I immediately contacted my bishop for the next Sunday to start my papers.

Then... I got to know Tyler. After much prayer and fasting, I felt like I should date him. So I did. And the rest is history.

As I've mentioned numerous times before, letting go of Tyler within the last month or so has been the biggest struggle of my life. Truly -- the hardest decision I have ever had to make. However, through this experience, I've been promised many things via Priesthood blessings, my Patriarchal blessing, the scriptures, and praying. After much thought, study, and prayer, I knew that without a doubt that in order to receive those blessings,  I had to make the decision to finally let him go.

Let me tell you... immediately after letting him go in my heart, the Lord blessed me with a clear mind. Then, as I studied the scriptures, I knew that the Lord needed me to serve a mission. As I've continued to let go of Tyler and move forward in this decision to serve a mission, the scripture Ether 12:6 has been made plainly manifest in my life. I know without a doubt in my mind that after I had the faith to actively listen and DO the Lord's will, He has blessed me with vision, perspective, and understanding of why things are the way they are and what His plan is for me. As a result, this new understanding of His plan for me has enabled me to listen and be patient in His timetable for my life. Also, this new ability to see things clearly as a RESULT of my obedience has helped me to realize the plans and great purposes the Lord has in store for me at this time.

So, in short, using my own agency to act in faith to do His will -- not my own, has truly blessed my life and has directed me on the path that He would have me go. With that being said, I know that the Lord has a plan for each of us. All we have to do is submit our full hearts to him and listen. He will answer our prayers and guide us, and He will never ever, ever leave us alone.

Looking back at the last few years, I'm so grateful that the age cap was still 21 years old and didn't change until now. I know that the last three years have shown me experiences that I wouldn't have gotten any other way. College, meeting new life-long friends, dating different people, being engaged, calling off my own wedding, and a hand-full of other experiences wouldn't have been able to teach me to trust in the Lord any other way. I've learned so much to prepare me for this time in my life and I will forever be grateful for the last three years' worth of trials and experiences.

Also, one last thing -- I know that serving a mission will undeniably strengthen me to become a better mother for my future children. That quote by Russell M. Nelson is a HUGE motivator -- and that very fact he stated inspired me to go from the very beginning of this process. I knew that if I let go of Tyler, listened to the Lord and served a mission, that the Lord would indeed bless me with a rockstar of a husband and an amazing family. He would also bless me as a mother as well as my children. Not only would going on a mission bless my future posterity, but I would also be able to bless my siblings and parents. If I can do anything for my family to bless them, then I will and I AM by choosing to serve a mission. I'm so happy and so excited that I can be an example to my family, especially my younger siblings.

"The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come." -Elder Russell M. Nelson

Thank you to all of you who have been, are and forever will be a part of my life and this experience.

I have 2 interviews and the papers are IN!