Last night I spent the night at the bestie's in Mesa, then went to the temple this morning. It was a good experience. However, I was in and OUT of the temple within 30 minutes -- did baptisms that fast! WOWZA! It was nuts. Then, I went to Sweet Cakes by my lonesome and got a salad & sandwich. It was pretty much delish. Then, I went to my grandma's house all afternoon. We went to fro-yo. (Turns out she's just as obsessed with it as I am!) We looked at old photo albums and then I zonked out on her couch for 2 hours! It was FAB. I love her so much. She's pretty much the craziest yet the BEST grandma any girl could ask for. She's truly an angel and always there for me. For reals.
Today I drove home...and it took 90 minutes. Seriously 90 minutes. It usually takes 45. Traffic sucks.
However... on the way home, I talked to an old friend the whole way. It was very nice, awful, lovely, miserable and magical at the same time. I love him. And I hate him. But I love him more than anything. GAH! Usually when I talk to him, it's like "Ugh I hate this. I'm mad. Come back to me." But this time it was more like... "I like being friends with you. I miss talking to you. I'm going on a mission and I can be okay with just being buddies with you for the rest of my life. Until I get married" kinda thing. Make sense? Probably not... at least to you. I don't know, I needed it. He brings me relief because he's the only one that can truly understand the pain.
Okay but I will say THIS...
One of my biggest pet peeves was a few responses to my facebook post last night. You know, the one that said:
"Remember when life was great and there was a reason for wanting to wake up every morning? Those were the days."
Yeah, so what if I'm complaining. SO WHAT if I "wallow in self-pity" sometimes. SO WHAT. No, I'm not a suffering survivor on the east coast. Yes, my family is alive and healthy. No, my family isn't suffering. But I AM. Just because it isn't physically or as emotionally demanding as others' trials, I am still going through MY OWN trial and heartache and I'M ALLOWED TO BE UPSET. So, if you don't agree with a facebook status? Then DELETE ME.
I'LL GET OVER ONE LESS VIRTUAL SOCIAL NETWORKING "FRIEND."
No, I'm not strong all the time. In fact, I am a complete train wreck 99% of the time. Forgive me for being upset. Forgive me for being open about it. Forgive me for not hiding it. Forgive me for expressing myself. If you don't agree that I post about it, then, once again, delete me. I'll get over it. Trust me, I'm used to it nowadays.
Peace.
I'm sorry about the things people say . . . I think sometimes people try to be helpful but don't always go about it in the right way. Some days will be harder than others, especially now that you've turned those papers in! Satan's going to try to bring you down! But I'm impressed with your strength and determination, even when your days are hard! Keep it up! :)
ReplyDeleteHey dear, I hope you weren't upset by my comment :-/ I just wanted to remind you of your mission :-) I love you <3 P.S. I've just spent the last while reading every blog post. Note to self: Stay caught up ;-)
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